Talking with a Veteran

Tukios Websites • November 3, 2018

Talking with a veteran of the more recent wars or conflicts such as Vietnam, Afghanistan, or Iraq can be intimidating. You may have a parent or spouse who served in Vietnam who has never shared anything about their experience with you. The Vietnam War was different from wars in the past in that the value of the war itself was questioned and many of those who served came home to a hostile public. It was not a hero’s welcome. Their story may have been bottled up all these years and time is running out for families to learn about their loved one’s experience.

Since the Vietnam War, a small percentage of the U.S. population has served in our armed forces. This means the Vietnam experience is not shared by the broader population and those who did not serve can’t possibly understand what war is like. Not understanding can make us uncomfortable about starting a conversation.  As a result, veterans can feel isolated while we remain unaware.

How can we push past our discomfort? How can we talk with these people we love and appreciate about a period in their life that was so very important to them? It can be tricky depending on how well you know the veteran. Below you will find some tips to aid your conversation with a veteran:

  • During the discussion:
    • Take your time, go slow
    • Plan to LISTEN
    • Listen without comment or judgment
    • Listen to learn, not to tell.
  • Below are some suggestions you can ask:
    • Would be willing to talk with me about your experience?
    • What service were you in?
    • What inspired you to join?
    • What does your service mean to you?
    • Would you mind sharing what you are currently doing?
    • You may want to avoid some of the topics/questions below:
      • Don’t ask if they killed anyone or saw any dead bodies.
      • Don’t be surprised if they don’t want to talk.
      • Don’t ask about PTSD.
      • Don’t make it about you.
      • Don’t think you know what it is like to go to war unless you have been to war.
      • It is always a good idea to do your homework and study the war prior to your discussion. And most of all, express your appreciation for their time and service.

        By Tukios Websites July 26, 2019
        By Tukios Websites July 19, 2019
        By Tukios Websites July 12, 2019
        By Tukios Websites July 5, 2019
        By Tukios Websites June 28, 2019
        By Tukios Websites June 21, 2019
        By Tukios Websites June 14, 2019
        By Tukios Websites June 7, 2019
        Let’s all give a big shout out for all the fathers! Boy, have they ever stepped up to the plate and embraced the changing role of fatherhood. Lots of those who are young dads today were raised by a very different kind of dad. Their dads may have never changed a poopy diaper or traveled alone with an infant. But times have changed. Now, dads are all in. You see them on planes toting a little one in a carrier on their chest, no mom in sight, so you just know they will be changing that diaper. We have stay at home dads, dads who cook meals inside the house as well as on the grill, and dads who know where the kids’ PJs are stored. Lots of big changes in one generation.  That’s not to short-change the granddads. The generation that spawned those super adapters. They are now grandfathers and were grand fathers. A generation ago lots of dads supported the family all by themselves. They also coached, were scout masters, mowed their own lawn (with a push mower) and made pancakes on Sunday mornings.   These same guys are now the grandpas who are teaching their grandchildren to fish and holding the hand of a princess in a tutu as they wander the zoo. Kudos to the Dad’s! It’s their day! Today is the day to appreciate your dad and to say thank you. You won’t have him forever, you know. Lord & Stephens Funeral Homes has been serving families with the highest quality funeral, burial and cremation services in northeastern Georgia since 1989. Their staff of dedicated professionals provide personalized and meaningful ceremonies for each family they work with. They have locations in Athens, Watkinsville, and Danielsville, Georgia.
        By Tukios Websites June 1, 2019
        By Tukios Websites May 24, 2019
        More Posts
        Share by: